A heart full of snow
by ednyadove
Summary: If someone knew me, could they love me? Better not to know, it is easier, it is safer to keep my heart protected safe, unknown. Better not to love at all. A/Y
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Big Brother in the shadows

I walk into my private study and see the neat stack of reports lying on my desk. Somehow the silence suits my current mood. Here I can let go of the smile and the cheerfulness that everyone expects from me. Here I can just be me, no pretending, and no hiding, finally free. Here I can allow myself the grief of losing my father. It was so unexpected that somehow it still has not sunk in that he is gone. It's been almost 6 months since his plane crashed and I had to take over the family business. Mother took it really hard. She really loved him. The twins barely saw him so their pain is not as poignant as mothers and mine. Although we thought it might have been an assassination, after all the investigation done by the police and my own people, there is no doubt that it was an accident.

I lean back against the couch and think about my friends. All of the members of F4 have been scattered to the winds. We do keep in contact and we call and e-mail, maybe visit once in a while but our lives are moving on.

Although Domjouyi still lives in Japan, he barely has time to spend with his friends. His time is taken by work since he travels a lot to New York for business. When he is here, he spends most of his time with Makino... I don't feel bad about that. God knows that I fought as hard as they did to make sure that they were able to be together. I can't help but smile because although they have been engaged for a year already, they still argue a lot. Though neither of them is as violent as they used to be... they seem happy and it seems that they do belong together. They balance each other out. I know that although Makino is a strong woman and can make me tremble in my shoes when she is angry; since she has been with Tsukasa, she has learned to lean on others for support. As for him, she has showed him not to take anything for granted. To him, money is now a means to an end, he wants those around him to be happy and instead of spending outrageous amounts of money buying things for people, like he used to, he spends time with those people he loves. He has grown up and thankfully, I don't' have to worry about him as much.

Rui decided to study in France before taking over his family's company. He has also grown up; he no longer depends on the F4 to solve his problems or to keep him company. He has a wider circle of friends and often brings them with him to visit us. It seems that his love for Makino has changed to a brotherly kind of love, and he watches over her as if she were his little sister. Last time I heard, he mentioned that Shigeru was also studying in France and that they got together once in a while to talk. The fact that he mentioned her at all should be something. Rui is not the kind to bring a girl into our conversation if she doesn't mean anything to him; but only time will tell.

Sojiroh went to England to study business... he has not changed as much as the others. He is still a playboy and I often get e-mails with pictures of his latest conquest, each one beautiful and knowledgeable of the seduction game. I know that I am not the only one he spoke with. He wanted to enjoy life and live it to the fullest before becoming a slave to work and family tradition. I always thought that Yuki would have been a good influence on him, but it seems that it was not to be. They seemed suited for each other but I guess it is better this way. I wouldn't want to see her broken and disillusioned.

As for me, I remained in Japan studying and working in the family business. After my father's death the choice was simple. It is what I have been raised for. I grew up around it and it is not a big deal. I keep tabs on all my friends to make sure that everything is well with them. I know they always act surprised when I show up or call them out of the blue whenever they are in need. They haven't figured out how I manage to be there when they need me. I know I should not have them watched, but as their friend, it is my duty to make sure that they are ok. I get periodic reports on their activities, most of the time I let them be but if it is something that might cause them grief, I don't' hesitate to act and remove the problem. Besides, what they don't know won't hurt them.

Which reminds me, Yuki has been a little down lately. I am sure it has something to do with Sojiroh's latest conquest. I will never understand how she can stand to hear from him about his conquests and bear it with a smile. I did not really intend to become friends with her. To me she was just another girl in love with Sujiroh, Makino's friend, the odango shop girl.

I kept track of her, because she was Makino's friend and I wanted to make sure Makino was happy. Yuki was just an afterthought. I read the first couple of reports on her and I was not surprised by what I read. She leads a very common life. She goes to classes and does ok. She goes to work and works a lot of extra hours. She goes home and hardly goes out. She does not have many friends, but is friendly with everyone. Each report I received about her included pictures and a detailed account of her activities. I stopped looking through hers. Eventually I just received a report if anything out of the ordinary happened.

After Sujiroh left, something changed in her. There was quietness about her... nothing really changed. Her routine was the same and yet there was something different. She grew up right before my eyes from one day to the next.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Sweet lessons

I stopped by the odango shop once, a few weeks after father's accident. I wanted to get something sweet for my sisters but without the hassle of going somewhere where I would be accosted by the women working there. I was just not in the mood. I walked into the store and found her arranging some sweets. As she looked up a small smile appeared on her face.

"Hello Mimasaka-san? Long time no see."

"Hello Yuki-San."

"I am covering for Tsukushi today, she asked for the day off."

"I am not here to see her; I am actually here to buy something for my sisters."

"Well in that case I recommend the new mint truffles covered in white chocolate. I am sure they will like that."

"Ok, I trust your judgment." I saw her put the small truffles in small pink boxes that I am sure my sisters will find cute.

"Mimasaka-san?"

"Huh?"

"I am sorry for your loss. Tsukushi told me what happened to your dad."

"Thank you Yuki-san."

"I know that we don't really talk much, but if you ever need to talk I will be more than happy to listen." I was surprised at her words. I was practically a stranger to her. Yes, she knew about me from the few times we hung out together as a group, but other than that, we had nothing in common. We never actually talked. What could we say to each other?

"Sure, I'll keep it in mind. Tell me, have you heard anything from Nishikado-San?" her face grew sad and the small sparkle in her eyes vanished.

"No."

"Don't worry I am sure he'll keep in touch." We both knew it was a lie.

"You are kind to say that Mimasaka-san, but we both know that between Sujiroh and I, there will never be anything, other than a passing acquaintance. He left that perfectly clear before he left"

I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. I did not know what to say to her. There was nothing to say. A soft smile appeared on her face and she looked at me with those clear brown eyes.

"Nishikado-san once told me that experiencing a bitter love is a lesson from which we learn not to do it again and to be stronger. I am sure with time things will be better. The pain will be less and one day I will find the love I deserve. Until then I just have to keep on looking forward and living each day to the fullest, with no regrets"

"No wonder Makino loves you so much Yuki. You are a great person and wise beyond your years. I am sure that you'll achieve anything you set out to do." Somehow, talking to her had giving me a reprieve from the sadness that had been surrounding me. I felt a bit of hope that somehow the feeling of loss will get easier.

I picked up the boxes and paid for the sweets. "Thanks Yuki-san. See you around"

"Have a great day Mimasaka-san"

I left the Odango shop thinking about her words. Maybe she was right. Time does heal all wounds. I miss father but he is gone and the only thing I can do is keep looking forward and continue his legacy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Beginings

I look at myself in the mirror and I can't help but smile. I am looking forward to tonight. The F4 is finally going to get together at Tsukasa's house. It is a birthday party for Makino. It will be like old times.

I arrive at the party and am greeted by Makino. She looks great. Granted, she might be of plain looks, but there is an energy about her that just touches you, that's her charm.

"Happy Birthday Makino."

"Thank you Mimasaka-san. I told him that I did not want him to go overboard with the celebration and look at what he did. That stupid man!"

"As the fiance to the Donjouyi heir, appearances must be kept. "

"I know. But that doesn't mean I can't bug him about it." She answered with a smile. "As long as my friends are here, then everything else does not matter. Let's go meet the others."

She smiled and led me to Tsukasa's private study. I see Rui leaning on the couch watching Tsukasa and Makino start to argue. He looks at me as he says: "They don't change, do they?"

"Let's hope not!" I answer with a smile. We talk about our lives, business as usual. He is surprised that I was not seeing anyone. I am a bit surprised as well. Things tend to change sometimes without us realizing it. I've been so busy with school and handling the family's business that I haven't had a chance to even think of returning to my womanizing ways.

I hear the door open and a shy Yuki walks into the room. The squeal from Makino is excited and happy. I see them hug and talk over each other.

"Long time no see Yuki-san." I break into their conversation.

"Oh, hello. Mimasaka-san. Hanazawa-san. It's been a while. "

Makino pulls her towards the door, "Come with me Yuki, I want to show you something." They leave the room and I see the forlorn look on Tsukasa's face and can't help but laugh.

"Man you are so whipped!!"

"Shut up!" he yells at me, glaring.

"Hey guys! You miss me?" Sujiroh's happy voice made us turn to the door.

"Of course not! "

"Hey Sujiroh, Yuki-san will be very glad to see you." I said, as I walked to the mini bar to get a drink.

"Damn, I forgot that she was going to be here. I hope she doesn't cling to me like in the past and that she has finally understood that I am never going to be with her. She is just not the type of girl I go for. Don't get me wrong, she is sweet, but she does not have the elegance or beauty that the girls I date have. You'd think she would get the idea by now." His voice sounded bored with the topic.

From the mini bar I had plain view of the door; I noticed a small movement by it. Yuki had the door ajar about to enter; she stood there silently listening to Sujiroh's speech. Yuki's eye glittered with unshed tears. One hand gripping the door handle tightly and her other hand balled into a fist. I pretended not to see her. I knew she had been hurt by his words and yet there was nothing that I could do.

"Sujiroh, aren't you being a little too harsh?" Tsukasa asked him.

"Why should I pretend that I am interested in her when I am not? It would not be fair to her. She is a great girl but not the kind for me."

I see her take a deep breath and straightened up. She opens the door and walks into the room.

"Domyouji-san, Makino asked me to get you, she says that it is time for the cake."

"Thanks Yuki." Tsukasa said as he stood to walk out the door, "Let's go everyone, time to party!"

"Hello Yuki-san. " I saw her stiffen slightly, but the smile did not falter. Good for her!

"Hello Nishikado-san. It is good to see you. I trust you are doing well." Her voice polite and with no trace of her sadness in it.

"Yes, it is nice to be back, even if it is only for a little bit. It is also good to see you, you are looking lovely tonight." I was surprised at his comment and I took a closer look at her and couldn't help but agree.

"Thank you for the compliment, you are too kind."

"Do you know what kind of cake Makino is talking about?" I asked, giving her the reprieve she needed.

"I have no idea what it is, but I am sure that chocolate is involved." Her relieved eyes turned to me and she answered with a smile.

We walked out of the study in silence, and joined the party. Between mingling with the guests, some of which were people my family has done business with, and teasing the rest of the F4, I had little time to think about Yuki. As I walked out of one of the balconies overlooking the garden, I found her there, leaning against the rail enjoying the sight and in serious thought.

"Are you ok?" I asked

She seemed surprised by my presence, "Yes. Why would you ask that?" she never turned to look at me.

"You said you understood that he could never love you."

She turned to me then, surprised that I knew she had heard Sujiroh's words.

"Mimasaka-san, have you ever been in love?"

"No."

"You can't just stop loving someone overnight. My mind knows that he can never love me, but my heart still loves him. It will be a while before I can stop feeling this pain. Tonight will help me heal, it hurts a little now, but eventually it will be better." She turned her face from me and I couldn't help but admire her strength.

"How come you and I never talk?" I found myself asking

"What do you mean? We do talk."

"I don't mean just polite conversations. We know of each other but we are not really friends. Why is that?"

"I don't know Mimasaka-san. I guess we just never had anything to say to each other."

"I would like for us to be friends Yuki-san."

She turned to me with a soft smile and answered, "We already are."

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and light banter with the rest of the F4 and Makino. Her smile never faltered and she treated Sujiroh no different. Bur her eyes betrayed the disillusionment. It seemed that I was the only one that saw it, and that was ok. We were friends now and friends look out for each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: ****A cup of Tea**

"Hello"

"Yuki-san? This is Akira. Are you busy tonight?" I heard a small hesitation on her voice.

"No, I am actually almost done with work and I was almost ready to go home. Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to have coffee with me." I was not sure why I called; I just did not feel like being alone now.

"Ok. Where do you want to meet?"

"I'll pick you up from work. See you in bit." I drove in the direction of the Odango shop, my thoughts filled with the meeting I had had with the Tsakano family. They thought that because father was dead that I could not handle the work, but they would soon find out otherwise. After all, I am one of the F4. I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that people underestimated us even now because of how we looked. People did not realize that flowers can be deadly too.

I arrived as she was closing; I got out of the car and entered the shop. A small smile appeared on her face as she greeted me.

"Hi Mimasaka-san, just give me a minute to get my things."

"No worries, I got time." She walked to the back of the store and returned shortly with her things and a bright smile.

"Alright, let's go." I walked towards my car, opened the door for her and waited as she locked the doors of the shop.

"So tell me, how was your day Yuki-san?" I asked as I slid into the seat of the car and turned on the engine.

"Well it was actually pretty boring, nothing interesting really happened at the shop. I did get the results of one of my midterm tests today and the marks were good. So I guess that was the highlight of my day. How about you Mimasaka-san? You must be very busy now that you are head of your family's business?" I felt her eyes turn to me attentively awaiting my answer. Telling her the truth was out of the question.

"Well, I had a rough day today. Some meetings did not go the way I wanted." In my mind the memory of the meeting I had had and the threats that had arisen from it. It would have to tightened security for mother and for my sisters. At least until I had dealt with the Tsakano family. I don't take threats lightly, at least not when the safety of the people I care about is at stake.

"I am sorry to hear that Mimasaka-san. But I am sure you will figure out a way to solve the problem. How are your mother and sisters?" I could not help but smile at her obvious faith in my abilities. It was nice to be regarded as such.

"Mother is still grieving father's death. The girls are returning to being their cheerful selves. Time is moving on and the pain lessens."

"Yes, time does heal all wounds eventually." She said pensively. I looked sideways at her and noticed her face for once did not look pained, but more resigned.

There was nothing more to say. I did not want to ask the obvious question and I let the silence stand. But somehow the silence was not uncomfortable. Soon enough we arrived at the classy coffee shop. It was a quiet place and a favorite of mine. Only those close to me knew of this place. They knew it was a place where I came to hide or relax. We walked in and the waiter took us to the back, a separate area for those influential enough to be able to afford it.

"Bring us a platter of small cakes and tea for two." I asked from the waiter.

"Thanks Mimasaka-san. This is a really nice place." Yuki's soft voice broke the silence as she settled in one of the chairs.

"Don't mention it Yuki-san. This is actually one of my favorite places. I come here when I need some peace and quiet."

Her laughter ran loud and uninhibited, "Mimasaka-san, I did not think that you were the kind to run from anything or to hide, for that matter. That is quite a surprise. I wonder what the other F4 would say about that."

"What makes you think that they would believe you Yuki-san? I'll deny it completely." I teased her back.

"Well… in that case we will keep this place a secret between you and me." Her smile was contagious.

"Well, if you promise not to ruin my image with the other guys, then I will make sure that you have access to this place whenever you want to. Let this be your haven too."

"Mimasaka-san, I could never…"

"Yuki-san… please don't say 'no'." I interrupted her, "I value you friendship and I want to share this place with you. Is that so wrong?" I looked at her intently watching her struggle between accepting my offer and declining. She looked at me intently and she must have seen the sincerity in my face because she nodded in agreement.

"Do you always get your way Mimasaka-san?" she asked me curious.

"Only when it matters Yuki-san."

The waiter arrived with the tea and it was time to change the subject. I had curiosity about her and her life. "So tell me, how did you and Makino become friends?" the conversation flowed easily. We talked about her friendship with Makino, the love and loyalty for her friend evident in her tone. It didn't surprise me that Makino hadn't changed much. She was still fighting for those that needed help and couldn't do it themselves. But I also realized that although Makino protected Yuki from the bullies, Yuki protected Makino from herself. Yuki kept her grounded and less impulsive. They took care of each other.

I told her about how the F4 had come about. How we had met and stayed friends for so long. She seemed puzzled about the fact that with the different personalities that we had, that we had been able to stay friends for so long. I can understand from her perspective that it might seem strange, but in reality what united us was our loneliness and the need to belong. Tsukasa was the one who started bringing us together. He has always known what we needed and although he went about it in a bossy and violent way, he never left us alone. I told her Tsukasa bullied Rui into playing with him and trying to get him to speak. He actually told Rui that he would not leave him alone until he spoke, and so he made Rui play with him.

Sujiroh saw Rui crying one day after Tsukasa had pushed him and Sujiroh had tried to defend him from Tsukasa. It had been a messy affair, both went at it, neither afraid of the other. The teachers had to separate them. The next day the both of them were found playing and trying to get Rui to speak. I saw all this going on and stayed away from them. I was shy and afraid of them, especially Tsukasa. I did not want to be bullied by him. One day, I was working on a piece of paper trying to draw something when some kid tried to take away my stuff. Rui appeared out of nowhere and pushed the other kid away. Needless to say, the kid did not like that and started beating Rui. I could not let him get beaten up because he had tried to help me, so I started beating on the guy. With all the ruckus Sujiroh and Tsukasa came running and made quick work or the other kid. We were taken inside by the teachers to care for our injuries and the next day Tsukasa just came to me and said that I was playing with them. That was that, and since then we had been inseparable.

Yuki listened attentively and laughed at how we had behaved as children. It was nice to share this story with someone that actually understood us. The conversation changed and we talked about the things we liked to do for fun. She was surprised about my expensive taste, but was not impressed by it. I was intrigued about her love for books and movies. We spoke for hours and when she realized how late it was I offered to take her home.

"Thank your Mimasaka-san. I had great fun."

"No Yuki-san. Thank you for spending time with me in such short notice. I just did not feel like being alone."

"Well that is what friends are for Mimasaka-san. We keep each other company when loneliness is a bit too much for us. Don't hesitate to call me if you ever need to talk." Her sincerity moved me. I knew for a fact that her friendship did not come with strings attached. She actually meant what she said.

"Good night Yuki-san."

"Good night Mimasaka-san." She turned and walked into her apartment building. I waited until she was inside, then I turned and got into my car. As I drove home I felt lighter, the worries seemed less. Being friends with Yuki was something that I could come to treasure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Neon Purple**

"Hello Mimasaka-san? Where is everyone? Am I too late?" I looked at Yuki and sipped from my champagne glass. This was the worst birthday ever... I just wanted to get thoroughly drunk. But first, I had to get rid of her.

"There is only you and me here." I took another sip from my glass as I looked at her confused face.

"I don't understand. They've been planning this for weeks."

"Well, I guess life got in the way. Domyoji and Makino had to leave for New York to meet with "the witch" about some major issue with the company. Rui has some unexpected family commitments that he can't avoid... and Sojiro has exams and projects that cannot wait." I finished my almost empty glass in one gulp and forcefully put the glass on the table.

"I am sorry Mimasaka-san."

"It's ok Yuki. I will understand if you want to leave." I was really hoping she would agree with me and leave.

"What are you going to do? It's you birthday." She whispered softly.

"It will be fine, don't worry. I am just going to go home and probably go over some paper work."

"Well, I have an idea. Let's go celebrate it!! What do you usually do to celebrate your birthday?"

"Usually the four of us just get together, go to a club, drink, dance and then we go home." She did not need to know that I did not usually go home alone, but usually accompanied with any number of women.

"That is no way to celebrate a birthday. You are coming with me." she stood up suddenly and pulled on my hands to stand up. She was actually quite strong for such a slender girl.

"You don't have to do this." The whine in my voice was noticeable, didn't she get it that I didn't want to have company?

"It is not right for someone to be alone on their birthday. Come on Mimasaka-san it will be fun I promise. Besides, hanging out with me couldn't possibly be worst than being on your own."

I followed her out of the restaurant where all of us had been supposed to meet. Somehow I knew she was not going to give up so easily. She was right, what else was there to do.

"So where are we going Yuki-san?" I asked dejectedly.

She smiled mysteriously and answered "Don't worry about it… just let yourself be led by me. Trust me."

I looked at her earnest face and couldn't help but smile as I answered "Always, Yuki-san."

We walked for a while and she brought me to a small, almost hidden, cafe. We walked in and it was not what I expected. Soft music was playing in the background; the atmosphere was warm and welcoming.

"Ohayo Yuki-san"

"Ohayo Touya-san. My friend and I are here to celebrate his birthday. He has never been here so I want him to experience the full treatment."

"Great. Please follow me." the young waiter took us to a booth in the back of the restaurant. I was surprised by what I saw. It was decorated will balloons and a birthday banner hanging on the wall. What kind of weird place had she brought me to!! I sat and looked around the booth, and the word cheesy came to mind. But I must admit that I couldn't feel sad in such a place. We ordered something to eat, and surprisingly enough the food was as good as any I had had at a five star restaurant. We ate in amiable silence; I really couldn't help but glance around the booth as I ate and noticed that each of the letters in the banner was decorated in a different way. Some had images of little animals filling the inside of the letters, other letters were made of cars or sports equipment, I think I even saw one that had different dolls. Interesting indeed!!

"How did you know of this place Yuki-san?" I asked as we were finishing our meal.

"I used to work here part time." she smiled in remembrance. "People that came to celebrate their birthdays were my favorite. There is always something sweet about celebrating a birthday."

"Well I must admit that I've never celebrated it in this manner. I think I like It." suddenly the lights dimmed in the restaurant and I heard Happy Birthday being sung by the waiters who had suddenly gathered around the booth. Our server put a small cake in front of me with a lighted candle in it.

"Come on Mimasaka-san. Make a wish." Said Yuki, her smile was contagious and I couldn't help but smile as well. I had no idea what to wish for, and then it hit me. I wished I had more happy days just like this one.

I blew on the candles and I heard a soft, "Happy Birthday Mimasaka-san, I hope your wish comes true."

"Should I bring his present now Yuki-san?" the waiter named Touya asked.

"Huh?" yep that was very articulate Akira. Suddenly a box wrapped in a bright color paper appeared in front of me.

"Open it Mimasaka-san!! Let's see what you got." asked an excited Yuki.

"You mean you don't know what it is?" I saw her shaking her head in a negative answer.

I opened the box and found the most strange, neon blue colored hippopotamus I had ever seen. I pulled it out of the box and stared at it surprised and then suddenly both of us started laughing.

"I guess you've never had one of those before Mimasaka-san. You know they are very rare creatures. Very expensive, just what a member of the F4 needs!"

I couldn't stop laughing. I was surprised to be having so much fun.

"You are right. None of the F4 has something like this, they will be so envious."

After the cake and a little bit more coffee, we walked out of the coffee shop, the hippopotamus hidden in a bag. It would have been very embarrassing to be walking about with it; I did have a reputation to maintain.

"So what do you want to do now Mimasaka-san?"

"I don't know. How about we walk for a bit?"

We walked around the city without a specific destination. Talking about our memories of birthdays past, the evening slipped away slowly and the hour grew late. I drove her to her apartment.

"Thank you Yuki-san. You made this birthday a memorable one." I caught her by surprise by pulling her against me and giving her a hug.

Her arms did not hesitate to go around me as she returned the hug, her soft breath against my chest as she spoke, "Happy birthday Mimasaka-san. "

"I will see you soon Yuki-san. Have a good night." I let her go and watched her walked towards her apartment. She turned at the door and smiled at me as she waved good-bye.

The peaceful aura did not leave me as I drove home or even as I sat in my study, looking intently at the Neon-purple thing she gave me. She had given a wonderful memory and her company had been delightful. I was lucky to have a friend like her. I wasn't sure if I deserved it, but I would not question it. Yuki was my friend and she would remain so for a long time if I had any say about it. I looked at the toy in my hands and really couldn't help but laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Of finals and Fabrics  
**

I looked out the window and saw the beautiful gardens… I had nothing to do today. No meetings, no family events. A day just for me… I had no idea what to do. Rui was probably still sleeping. Tsukasa was in New York and Sojiroh had a family event that he could not avoid. It was strange not having anything to do. I could always call Yuki. Since my birthday we had become closer friends. I found her short inspirational text messages quite amusing, especially after dealing with the family business. I hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks and maybe she would want to keep me company. I reached for my phone and dialed her number.

"Mimasaka-san!" I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Hi Yuki-san, are busy today? I was calling to see if you would like to have lunch with me."

"I'm sorry Mimasaka-san but I already have plans for today. Rui's party is next week and today is the only day I have available to go shopping."

"Well in that case, can I come with you? We can have lunch afterward."

"You want to come shopping with me?"

"Sure. Who better than me to give you advise on how the dress looks on you? You know I have impeccable taste."

"Well… I…"

"Great, I'll pick you up in 30 minutes." Rude? Maybe a little, but it was better than having her say no.

As I drove to her apartment, I couldn't help but frown at the fact that she was living alone. Her parents had decided to move to the country and she had stayed to finish school. That was the reason why she worked so many hours, she made barely enough to cover her expenses. I still remember the day I offered to pay the rent for her. I had never noticed how much steel there was to her voice when she felt strongly about something. She thanked me, but said that she could not accept my offer. She wanted to do it on her own. Her tone left no room for argument, but I was not a Mimasaka for nothing. I could be devious if the situation demanded it. Trying to outsmart her should be entertaining, but in the end she had no chance of winning.

"Are you always so punctual Mimasaka-san?" she asked as she settled inside the car.

"I don't try to be Yuki-san, it just happens. So, where are we going?"

"Well, I really don't know. I've never had to buy a party dress before, least of all one that has to fit the theme of the party."

"I know where we can go and get you a nice dress. Trust me it will be fun." I looked sideways at her and she didn't look quite convinced.

"Nothing expensive Mimasaka-san." She warned

"OK."

"So tell me, how is school?" Trying to change the subject? Of course not!

"Well, final exams are coming up and I am having problems with my English class. I think I am going to fail. There are a couple of things that I am still confused about in my Math class but I am sure that if I review it before the final, I will be fine."

"If you want I can help you study for your finals. I might not be as bright as Tsukasa but I do get by. After all I am one of the F4."

"Thank you Mimasaka-san. I would really appreciate your help. When do you have time?"

"Well, actually it would be better if you tell me when YOU have time. What with school and work, you have a busier schedule than me. I am just a poor business man, leading a boring life."

"I am only free on the weekends; would that be OK with you?"

"That is fine Yuki-san. How about you come to my house I have some books there that might be able to help you."

She was so enthralled in the conversation that she did not really noticed where we had gone. It was an exclusive boutique that only catered to the extremely wealthy. I stopped the car in front of the boutique and walked around the car. I opened the door and held out my hand to help her out. She did not take it.

"Why did we stop here Mimasaka-san?"

"To buy you a dress." I stated.

"I thought you were going to take me to the mall."

I took her hand and pulled her gently out of the car, "Seriously Yuki-san, do I look like the kind of person that goes to the mall?"

I handed the key to the valet and walked into the store before she really started to fight me.

"But Mimasaka-san, I don't think…"

"How may I help you?" one of the attendants asked.

"We are here to buy an evening dress. Please show us what you have."

"Right away sir. Please follow me." As we followed her to one of the private rooms Yuki was looking at the different dresses that we passed.

"Do you like any of them Yuki-san?" I whispered in her ear.

"I think we should leave Mimasaka-san. I can't afford this dresses and it would be wrong to take her time if I am not going to be buying anything." She whispered back.

"I shall be back with some models for the lady to try on. Please get comfortable." The attendant stepped out of the room and closed the door softly. I sat on the chaise that faced the changing room and turned to look at Yuki.

"Listen Yuki-san, what is so wrong about trying some dresses even if you don't buy them. It will at least give you an idea of what you might like. And if it makes you feel any better I will leave a tip for the attendant so that her time is rewarded even if we don't buy anything."

She looked at me pensively fighting with her self about whether or not she should accept.

"Ok, Mimasaka-san, I will try a couple of dresses and then we leave." I really couldn't help but smile.

She looked at me with a mock glare, "One of these days you are not going to get your way Mimasaka-san."

"So you keep saying." I answered with a smile.

The attendant returned with a rack full of dresses of different colors, cuts and fabrics. "Please leave us. We will call you when we need further help."

The assistant bowed respectfully and left the changing room.

"So which one are you going try first Yuki-san?"

I saw her browsing through the dresses. She picked and maroon satin dress and went into the dressing room without saying a word to me. She closed the curtain and I could hear the rustle of the fabric as she changed.

"Are you going to be silent throughout the whole thing?" I asked whiningly.

"Well, what do you want to talk about Mimasaka-san? How about you tell me how was work?"

"Actually Yuki-san it was pretty boring. Meetings, signing papers, more meetings and more of signing papers."

Her laughter ringed throughout the room amidst the rustle of fabric.

"You know, considering what is rumored about your family, I would think you would have a more eventful work week. I don't know maybe a broken bone or two."

"Well it's been a slow week. What can I say?"

She stepped out of the dressing room and I looked her up and down. I honestly had no idea that she had that many curves to her body. She had the most perfectly proportioned body I had ever seen… and I had seen many bodies. The satin dress was modest and simple, leaving only her arms bared. But it showed very nicely her slight hour-glass shape.

"Yuki-san, the dress looks gorgeous on you."

"Really? You are not just saying that?"

"Really, you do. What do you think of the dress?"

"It feels a little constricting at the top. I am going to try another one."

She went to the rack and picked a couple more dresses. As she changed and paraded them for me, I could not help but admire how much fun it was to spend time with her. It wasn't the first time that I had gone shopping with a woman for a dress, but she made it seem so new and thrilling.

I decided to pick something for her to try. I had seen her look at it briefly with a bit of longing but dismissing it for some reason. "Yuki-san, would you try this on for me? I want to see how it looks on you." I handed her the dress through the curtain and couldn't help but smile at her yelp of surprise.

"Don't do that Mimasaka-san!! You scared me!"

"Guilty conscience?" I asked as I went back to my spot on the chaise and waited for her to emerge from the dressing room.

"Very funny Mimasaka-san." She answered as she emerged from the dressing room. I had the air knocked out of me. She looked absolutely gorgeous. The material of the dress made it seem as if she was floating on air surrounded in the colors of the setting sun. The dress had thin barely visible straps that held the front of the dress and accentuated her curvaceous shape. It had a criss-cross pattern in the low cut back with the same fabric giving the illusion of no fabric at all, displaying her flawless skin.

"What do you think Mimasaka-san?" she asked me expectantly.

"Yuki! Wow! You look absolutely gorgeous!"

"You don't think it's too revealing?"

"You have to get this dress."

"No."

"No? What do you mean no? Don't you like it?" I can't believe she doesn't like it. She looked at herself in the mirror and I could see the longing for the dress in her eyes.

"I can't afford it Mimasaka-san." Before I could open my mouth and offer to buy it, she turned around and pointed her finger at me, "and you are not buying this dress for Rui's party."

"But Yuki-san, that is a really great dress. Do you think you are going to find anything better than that one?"

"Maybe not, but I want to live within my means, and this dress is way out of my means. I do appreciate you offering to buy it for me, but I don't want people to think that the reason I am friends with you is for your money."

"I understand Yuki-san." I was not going to fight her on this. I admire the fact that she could stand by her convictions.

"What are we going to do about your dress then?" I asked as she walked into the dressing room to change into her street clothes.

"Well, let's go to the mall and see what we find."

"But that is so… so… common." I stated with almost a hint of a whine in my voice.

"It will be a fun experience for you Mimasaka-san." We walked out of the boutique and picked up the car. The drive to the mall was done in silence. I could not get out of my mind the image of Yuki in that dress, it was like a vision. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that I had to see Yuki like no one else had. It was a rare gift and I would treasure it always, being her friend was more rewarding than I thought.

We walked around the mall and she found a nice amber colored dress. It was modest and simple just like everyone expected her to be. Like I had always thought her to be, but now I knew better. She bought her shoes and accessories. She laughed hard when I expressed how surprised I was that she had bought so much with so little money.

"Thanks for letting me come shopping with you Yuki-san." I said as we sat enjoying a late lunch.

"No, thank you Mimasaka-san. I had a lot of fun today."

"Before I forget, when do you want to come over so that I can help you study?"

"Well finals are in two weeks, could we start next weekend?" she asked tentatively.

"Sure. Tell you what. Come on over Saturday and we can study a little bit before going to Rui's party. You can get ready at my house just bring all your stuff."

"Thanks Mimasaka-san."

"Come on, I'll take you home." We left the restaurant and drove in relative silence to her apartment. We stopped in front of her building and I remembered that there was something I had to warn her about. "Yuki-san, Sojiroh will be attending Rui's party." I saw her shoulders droop slightly.

"I know Mimasaka-san. Tsukushi told me about it a couple of weeks ago. I'll be fine."

"Look at me Yuki-san." I asked softly. When her eyes found mine I continued, "If at any time you don't feel comfortable at the party, let me know and I will take you home."

She smiled lightly, "That won't be necessary Mimasaka-san. I wouldn't want to trouble you."

"You are my friend and it won't be any trouble. Promise me Yuki-san?"

"I promise Mimasaka-san." She answered with a smile. She gathered her things and as she stepped out of the car she commented, "You are very bossy you know."

She ran to her apartment not waiting for my reply. I saw her get into the building and couldn't help but smile at her spunk. She was full of surprises.

**Authors Note:**

First of all I want to thank everyone that has read my story. I want to apologize for not updating sooner, it's been kind of hectic lately. I have a couple of chapters all ready, so the updates should come a little faster.

Thanks again and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Letting go**

"I can't believe it took you two hours to get ready Mimasaka-san."

"Well, looking this good is a time consuming task. I do have a reputation to maintain."

"Talking about your reputation, how come you are not taking one of your conquests to Rui's party?" To say that she caught me completely by surprise with her question would be an understatement. Sitting in the limo watching the scenery pass by, I was content.

"I never bring any of my conquests to my friends parties. It would complicate things." I did not turn around as I answered

"Complicate things?"

"Yes Yuki-san, the women I date are already married, coming with me to this kind of parties would be too evident within our social circle. They have to keep appearances and so do I. Now that I am in charge of the family business I can't take the risks I used to take when I had no responsibilities."

"But don't you feel lonely?" I turned to face her and I saw her earnest curiosity.

"Yuki-san, I can't miss something that I've never had. Besides, I am not really alone. I have my family and my friends. For now that is enough." I turned to look out the window and I could feel her gaze on me. I had never had anyone worry about whether or not I was lonely. It was nice to have a friend that worried about me. Sojiroh was an idiot, not realizing how great a person Yuki was. But then again I am glad he didn't see it, because maybe she and I wouldn't have become friends.

As we arrived at the party I noticed that she seemed a little bit nervous. "Yuki-san, are you ok?"

"I'm a little nervous. I've never been to a party like this."

"Don't worry Yuki-san, I will make sure that you don't embarrass yourself. Don't worry about anything and just have fun."

"Ok Mimasaka-san." A nervous smile appeared on her face. She was brave.

I stepped out of the car and extended my hands towards her to help her out. We walked into the mansion and went in search of our friends.

"Yuki-san! You made it!!" I saw Makino making her way towards us. Having her friend close by had eased Yuki's tension a bit.

"Tsukushi!! You look great!!" Yuki hugged her friend and smiled at Tsukasa who was never far from Tsukushi.

"You too!! I am so glad you are here Yuki. Come on lets go talk to Rui."

"See you around Mimasaka-san." Yuki managed to say as Tsukushi dragged her into the ballroom in search of Rui.

"So, Akira? Are you dating Yuki?" I couldn't help but laugh at Tsukasa's question.

"Of course not. Yuki and I are just friends."

"Well it looks like she is over Sojiroh. I am glad. Makino did not like that Yuki was so interested in him." Tsukasa commented as we walked into the ballroom.

"Tsukasa, I've come to learn that there is more to Yuki than what we usually see." My eyes found her slight figure standing beside Tsukushi and Rui near the buffet tables. I could see her eyes alight with merriment.

"Thank God I know you prefer older women, otherwise it would seem that you are starting to care for her." I turned to the sound of the voice and found Sojiroh walking towards us.

"Of course I care for her. She is my friend." I replied as Sojiroh reached us.

"I am just glad that she is no longer chasing me around. I could never give her what she needed. Do you think she and I could ever be friends Akira?" His eyes focused on her figure and for an instant I could see how he really felt for her. The bastard had been lying to everyone about what he felt for Yuki.

"I honestly don't know Sojiroh. That is something that only Yuki can answer." I answered as I took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. "But if there is something that I've learned about her is that she has a very kind heart and a very forgiving nature."

He turned his eyes to me and searched my face looking for something and explaining his thoughts, "Akira, I know I've hurt her by not reciprocating her feelings, but it is better this way. No matter how much I might … have grown to care for her I know that I could never give her what she needs. She is better off with someone else. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to be friends with her."

"Sojiroh, do you love her?" asked Tsukasa. Sometimes I forget how perceptive he could be.

"Yes. I love her enough to let her go and have a happy life with someone who can give her the kind of love and devotion she deserves. It is enough for me if we can be friends."

"Sojiroh, she loves you. Don't you think that it should be her decision?" I saw him turn to look at her, standing there talking with Tsukushi her happy laughter ringing throughout the room. "No Akira. I know her love for me will fade with time, it has already started. Besides I am going to be living in England for a while. My family has opened a new office there and my dad wants me to manage it until it is stable which will probably take a couple of years."

"What?" Tsukasa and I asked simultaneously.

"I leave tomorrow and I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to see all of you one more time before leaving. Face it guys things are changing, we all have our own paths to follow."

"It doesn't matter where our paths lead. We will always be the F4." Tsukasa stated.

"Well in that case let's make sure that it is a memorable night." I said as I started walking towards Yuki and Tsukushi.

"Having fun Yuki-san?" I heard her small yelp of being caught off guard.

"Mimasaka-san, don't scare me like that!!" she turned to me with a smile that did not dim as she greeted Sojiroh. "Good to see you Nishikado-san."

"Good to see you too, Yuki." Sojiroh replied with a smile.

The night was full of laughter and good wishes as Sojiroh told the rest of the group about his move to England. As the night progressed I saw from afar how much attention from the other male guests she was receiving. Her innocent and honest laughter were a stark contrast to the superfluous people that surrounded her, so unlike them, that she stood out in the crowd. She was unaware of her appeal. I also saw my friend watch her closely as if wanting to memorize her image in his mind… one last time before letting go.

As the party drew to a close Yuki and I said our goodbye's to the rest of the group. I helped her into the car and slid right next to her.

"It was a nice party Mimasaka-san."

"I am glad that you had fun Yuki-san."I felt her head rest on my shoulder and as her breathing grew slower, I could barely hear her whispered "I am so sleepy."

When we arrived at my place, I carried her to the guest bedroom next to mine and asked one of the maids to help her out of her clothes. I knew she was going to be out for the rest of the night.

"Please let me knew when she wakes up in the morning, and don't let her leave without waking me."

"Yes sir."

I stepped out of the room and closed the door softly. As I entered my room and started to get ready for bed, pondered about the fact that it had been a night full of revelations. Although I had suspected that Sojiroh's feelings were a lot deeper than he let on, I never actually thought that he would let her go. But Sojiroh was right, Yuki was moving on and her feelings for him were fading. Tonight, she had talked to Sojiroh and smiled at him, but there was no more of that intense infatuation and longing from before.

I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to love someone so deeply that you would be willing to let them go so that they can be happy. I don't think that I could be that unselfish. I don't know that I could love someone that much. As I fell asleep I hoped that even if I didn't find that kind of love, that maybe Yuki would. She definitely deserved it.

**Authors Note:**

(hangs head in shame) I am so sorry for not having updated in a long time... life just seems to get in the way sometimes. I must confess that I was extremely surprised that the chapter ended the way it did.

Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i am enjoying writing it.

Happy Valentines day!!!


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